Hospitality: Embrace awkwardness, expect change

By:  Seventy Mary Jean Belrose Canada East Mission Centre Co-President

Hospitality is the practice that keeps the church from becoming a club, a members-only society. – Diana Butler Bass

Many years ago, my mother and I visited one of her sisters and her family in their humble thatched-roof home in a remote area of Cuba. Her children, spouses, and grandchildren all gathered to greet us with exuberance, filling the house with the joyful presence of family. The walls were simple, made of painted wooden boards that were the same inside as they were outside, with daylight shining through the cracks. Bare light bulbs hung from the rafters, casting a soft glow on the uneven cement floor that had been swept clean.

Despite the modest surroundings, there was no sense of embarrassment or awkwardness. The well-worn furniture quickly filled with the loving presence of family members gathered closely around us, while others stood nearby. We sipped strong, black café Cubano as the sun began to set, and just as we prepared to leave, the house was suddenly plunged into total darkness due to a power failure.

Immediately, our hosts took hold of our arms, preventing us from moving and protecting us from a possible fall. Some scrambled to find a flashlight, guiding us safely to our vehicle, all while holding our hands to ensure we were secure. The entire experience left me feeling as though we had been lovingly held in a cocoon of care.

What is Hospitality?

According to Dictionary.com, hospitality is "the quality or disposition of receiving and treating guests and strangers in a warm, friendly, generous way." Having received God's abundant grace, we are called to respond generously with what we have and who we are. By fostering a culture of hospitality, we create spaces where we lower ourselves to become servants, building others up and giving them value. In a world that can be cold and inhospitable, we can construct spaces of warmth and inclusion, where the Creator’s Spirit can breathe into the hearts of the lost and lonely. Sometimes, hospitality is as simple as offering a listening ear.

Sharing food always provides an open door for guests to feel cared for and welcomed. Relationships are often built around the table, where discussions about what truly matters can take place. The focus isn’t on entertainment or impressing others; it’s about genuine connection. Even if we lack the finest linens or if our cupboards are bare, we offer what we have from our hearts. The simplest refreshment or meal can bring us together—whether it's frozen pizza or a dish of ice cream with a cool drink.

It was when two disciples on the road to Emmaus shared a meal with a stranger that they came to know him. Did they have time, resources or energy to prepare something extravagant or amazing? Despite their weariness and grief, they extended hospitality, and in doing so, experienced a profound revelation. What might we miss if we don't extend such invitations, even when it’s inconvenient?

In the Congregation – Embrace the Awkwardness

From time-to-time strangers show up at church. Perhaps they’re just passing through, or maybe they’re on a serious search for a spiritual home. Either way, we have the opportunity to practice radical hospitality. In small congregations where everyone knows each other well, it’s easy to focus on familiar faces. As leaders, we can sometimes get caught up in the business of the congregation before or after the service, or we might hope that someone else will greet the stranger, relieving our discomfort. 

Starting a conversation with someone we don’t know can be challenging. After you introduce yourself and ask their name, you might wonder what to say next. Consider asking how they found your church—perhaps they’ve already visited your congregation’s webpage but have questions that could lead to further conversation. Find out if they are new to the area, and if so, where they moved from. If it feels appropriate, ask about their work or what grades their children are in. Be sure to introduce them to others, always looking for ways to connect individuals. For instance, if they have an interest in yoga and someone in the congregation is an instructor, make sure they meet. Or if they live in the same neighborhood as another member, facilitate that connection. Don't just meet them—help them meet others. Of course, invite them to join your group for lunch after the service, and be prepared to cover their meal. Involve them in the conversation, making them feel included and valued.

Don’t worry about having the perfect conversation starter—just dive in. Can’t remember their name the following week? That’s okay too. Many of us have what I like to call a “leaky valve” when it comes to names. Just ask them to kindly remind you of their name and move on.

Expect Change

Jesus ate with sinners, welcomed children, and taught us to invite the lowly to our gatherings. He prepared breakfast for His disciples, including Peter, who had betrayed Him. He set the “table” for 5,000+ and encouraged lunch boxes to be shared. Lives were forever changed. In each of these acts, lives were forever changed. When we extend ourselves in hospitality, we too will undoubtedly be changed. Many of the ways we make guests feel comfortable in our homes can be applied to welcoming them at church.

Challenge yourself and your congregation to practice radical hospitality—hospitality that exceeds expectations.

Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me. – Matthew 25:40
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Don't neglect to show hospitality, for by doing this some have welcomed angels as guests without knowing it. – Hebrews 13:2